Tip #2 Complete the Past and Move Into Your Relationship Future!
Dear Friend,
Are you being held back by the past?
You may feel resentment when you still feel victimized by a person or a situation. As long as we’re stuck in a victim role, we’re at the mercy of others or life. In order to heal resentments and re-claim your power, you first want to become curious about your role. In light of these past relationships, you might ask yourself: Did I give my power away? How did I ignore my own intuition? How did I not speak my truth? How did I not stand up for what I knew was right? In what ways did I abandon myself?
Ask these questions with gentle curiosity and a deep compassion for yourself. At one time or another, every one of us has abandoned ourselves and given away our power. The good news is that we have the opportunity to re-claim it!
Toxic Ties Keep Us Where We Are
Toxic ties are relationships where you feel fear, obligation or guilt. You feel unable to say “no” or set limits. You have difficulty telling the truth or being your authentic self. And you’ll notice you probably lose personal power when you're with these others.
You want to communicate the truth of who you are and what you want and need. You also want to surround yourself with relationships which nurture and inspire you. It's not necessary to abruptly end toxic-tie relationships. However, you do want to begin to evolve them by recognizing your own part in the dynamic and taking a stand for yourself.
Are You Unconsciously Sabotaging Yourself?
Old unconscious agreements can be subtle. We made them at a time when they made sense but no longer do. However, they continue to be a powerful influence that can limit us. Our job is to identify, eliminate or re-negotiate them.
One of my Calling in “The One” clients realized how she’d maintained a sense of low self-worth in exchange for her ex-husband’s financial security. When she later began expressing her full potential, she was able to “call in” a new relationship – a man who was happy to support her greater expression.
Another client, an unmarried successful career woman in her 50's realized she'd been living with a sense of total failure, because she hadn’t given her mother the grandchildren she'd wanted. Until this otherwise successful woman realized her unconscious belief, a feeling of failure colored everything in her life.
Personally, I remember observing my parent’s unhappy marriage and thinking, if that's what marriage is, I want no part of it. That unconscious agreement acted as a powerful intention keeping me single for decades.
So, make a commitment to clean your inner house!
Your Exercise
Practice this exercise over the next week, and begin to let go of the past to move into a more fulfilled life and love.
Step 1: Start by taking several deep breaths. Shift your attention from the outside world to the sensations and feelings in your body. When we are connected with ourselves in our bodies, we are able to access useful information from the deeper part of ourselves.
Step 2: Identify a few agreements – spoken and unspoken – that may be limiting you in finding greater love and a more fulfilled life. These could be agreements with your parents, siblings, other parent figures like a teacher, or ex-loves.
Step 3: What kind of impact are these agreements having on you and your life? Which of these would you like to let go of or re-negotiate?
Step 4: Now, what new agreements would you like to make that would help you create a more balanced and fulfilled life? Examples could be: I agree to put my true desires before the wishes of my parents. I agree to stop connecting with family or friends through the bad-mouthing of the opposite gender. I agree to express my greatest potential and trust that my future mate will love me for it.
Step 5: Look into the future. What would be possible in your life once you started living these new agreements? Use your imagination!
Summary
We’re at the mercy of old agreements as long they're unconscious, when we're acting in response to an unknown driving force. By consciously recognizing these limiting agreements, we can evolve them into new ones which support us in creating a magnificent love relationship. The good news is that the past does not determine your future.
I hope you’ve gained a better sense of how you can transcend the limitations of the past for a fuller expression of love. You can create the love of your dreams. And it's time to get started.
Complete the Past is a principle we cover in depth during the 7-week Calling in “The One” coaching program. Learn more about this renowned 7-week program and how it can help you fast track your relationship goals. It’s helped thousands of others from all walks of life in many types of circumstances.
Next step: You’re invited to join our Facebook community. Post your success with this week's exercise - let us know what stumbling blocks you encountered or what insights you gained. Like our page! Share your experiences, ask your questions, and I’ll reply to you there!
Next - Tip 3: Create an Extraordinary Life to Attract Extraordinary Love. You’ll discover how creating a life you love makes you irresistible and magnetic to love.
About Lyndra
Lyndra Hearn Antonson will coach you to get free of inner obstacles to having the life and love relationship you’ve always wanted. She earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and a Master's Degree in Social Work, preparing her for a successful 25-year career as a psychotherapist. She completed additional training to become a certified life and love relationship coach.
After consciously releasing her own inner barriers, she “called in” her great love and married for the first time at the age of 48. Lyndra successfully coaches others - men, women and couples - to have true and lasting love.
Lyndra primarily coaches by phone giving her the ability to work with clients all over the world. You can learn more about Lyndra and the transformational coaching programs she offers at www.loverelationshipcoach.com.
Lyndra Hearn Antonson, CPCC, MSW
Certified Professional Co-Active (Life) Coach
Certified Calling in “The One” Coach
Certified Conscious Uncoupling Coach
| 
No comments:
Post a Comment